Is it really?

This was initially titled as - winter is over so I am clearly bad at this. The last 7 months clearly proves it. But more than that I have been struggling with programming.

In the last 7 months I have tried to write something I care about but I come up short of finishing anything.

The nearest I come towards has been able to build an API for a crossword api (which is something I have been doing consistently and I still suck at it)

It has been a weird time. The last 2 years specially in my career has been mostly me soul searching. Where should I go with my career.

In the past, I have been an avid functional programming enjoyer but with the layoffs continuing I don’t know where to go or what to do.

This is year I tried to fiddle with F#, gleam and now lean.

I think in addition to rust these languages for me have the potential to be as viable for everyday programming as rust has been for the programming world.

They all serve different purpose but I like them and I think I am gonna stick with them for a while.

So what is next?

I want to lean in. So my first couple of writeups I am assuming would be me doing fp - proofs, logic and applications of them in various areas of day to day computer science. I might go through lean’s natural numbers game. It seems to be used for teaching purposes and I am interested in learning.

Can you be more descriptive?

I want to. But there is weird thing that happens when I am descriptive or even explanatory about what I want to do - I don’t do it.

And I want to do it so I will keep this short - It would be lean related. I have been working on other things but I think the joy that comes from writing about the stuff that I do it more interesting not only for me but probably for others.

When will I see you again?

Hopefully next week. If I am not back next week. Then I have probably failed and then I might be back next year or never :cry:

Finally.

If anyone checked in and thought in the time between March and October why I have nothing here - I am really sorry. I try to be as transparent about things as possible but writing about it is still new to me. I actually have no idea how much of this is even worth it. This is not be trying to undervalue my work - this is me being dead honest. I am bad at writing and finishing and submitting on time. This post wouldn’t exist if my therapist hadn’t pushed my for almost 4 months.

I wanted to write, I do, and I am not afraid of anyone else comments as much as my own ego. My own issues of looking at the computer screen and seeing another project going to a “maybe I won’t be able to push this further” section.

So I want folks to bear with me (if there are any, if there aren’t thats awesome - no pressure)

Also!

I am gonna talk more about stuff I like - politics, philosophy, literature and books. I think the last 3 years has been turbulent in my life and the world at large. It is high time for us to be not afraid to draw lines.

One of the most important reasons why I moved away from github (for all of my personal projects I unforunately cannot do anything about my employers) and now am using codeberg.

My principles align with anti-imperialist and anti-colonial policies and it feels like these technologies are using our data and code to kill marginalised people who have very little to no protection against systemic powers.

I am done being coy publicly about this. And living in fear is no way to live.

Finally I want to end on Oda’s words which have helped me and maybe help you - if you ever feel nihilistic or think your life has no meaning.

“Don’t forget to smile in any situation. As long as you are alive, there will be better things later, and there will be many” (somewhere in the Arlong Park arc)

Lets use this radical optimism and make our lives worth it and not let any corporation steal it.